Yzma Vs. Brock is a song from the episode "The Emperor's New Musical." It is sung by Eartha Kitt and Joey Lawrence.

Yzma vs Dirk Brock

Yzma vs Dirk Brock


Yzma is on stage as the star of the school musical, but as "nobody wants to hear a singing wrinkle-saurus," the hall is nearly empty save for the two old men. Malina stalls for time by opening a large number of curtains, and in the meantime Kuzco has restored Dirk Brock's voice. Yzma begins singing about her dream to be on stage when Brock arrives. The two then engage in a "battle of the bands" style sequence, with Yzma on her bass and trumpet and Dirk on his electric guitar. At the end of the song, the lights come crashing down due to the chaos.


Yzma: *spoken* ...Which, eighty-some years later, brought me here today. It's hard to explain the feelings I'm feeling right now, but maybe this song will help.

(Yzma begins playing the bass and singing)

It's great to be here

In the spotlight tonight,

It's great to see you all here to see me,

I'd like to thank you

All for the limelight invite,

For singing a melody in the key of ME!

A one, two--

(Brock comes in from offstage playing his guitar)

'Dirk Brock': I say this spotlight's,

A Brocklight!

I see the reason my fans to see me!

And without the laryngitis,

I got the touch o' Midas,

So take a listen to me!

Students: Did you hear?

Did you hear?

Did you hear?

Kavo: Brock is back, it's music to my ear!

Yzma: You know this spotlight's not big enough for two!

Brock: Purple lady, with that I agree,

Yzma: But like a library book

My solo is due!

Brock: But the Brock's not done--

Yzma: Just step aside, son

This is Yzma territory!


(Yzma pulls a trumpet out from nowhere and begins playing it and her bass simultaneously)

Students: Give me one,

Give me two,

Give me three,

I think we're gonna save the academy!

Yzma: The stage is mine, this is my dream!

Brock: Wake me up when the nightmare is through.

Yzma: You're a flash in the pants from the teen-bopper scene.

Brock: Well your reasoning's whack

Let me show you the facts,

Bam! (Girls scream)

Bam! (Girls scream)

Whoo! (Girls scream)

(Brock riffs on his guitar)

Guaca: Three more!

Two more!

One more!

Everybody shout--we're all sold out!

Malina: *speaking* Kuzco, look, it's a full house! The school is saved!

Kuzco: *speaking* Sorry I had to do things the hard way. Thanks for sticking up for the school, and for me. It really means a lot. (Malina hugs him) *in mind* Yes! Touchy-touchy!

Brock: Those kids want me,

Can't you hear them roar?

Yzma: Sounds more like a snore I would say!

Brock: I've had enough of you, you old dinosaur!

Yzma: You wanna play rough?

Brock: I'll show you who's tough!

Yzma: This means war!

Both: Shut up and play!

(The two then proceed to 'duel' on their respective instruments. Eventually the music becomes so powerful that the lights collapse.)